Helen walks to her meeting with Joseph Harkes
Stepping onto the third bridge forced Helen to think about her meeting with Joseph. She was not looking forward to it. Partly because she hadn't finished grading the papers yet, which was something she had promised would be done the last time they had met. But mainly because her meetings with Joseph were exhausting-trying to follow his interminable monologues, and obsessing over every single word and gesture he made.
Helen was always on her guard with Joseph. He had a reputation around campus as a womanizer who wasn't averse to fooling around with his own students and TAs. Before she left for Spain, Jessica had told Helen she shouldn't even consider working for a professor capable of such monstrous errors in judgment. Helen agreed with Jessica that Joseph’s conduct was inappropriate. It wasn’t just that he was so much older. Professors were part of a different world-they were teachers, and should be role models as well. Joseph had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed, just like Tim had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed when he went after April. It had been the summer of authority figures abusing their power. So what else was new? The world was a fucked up place. But she had never thought of Tim as someone who was going to add to that-it wasn't like him, and it made her sad to think that he had betrayed what he stood for.
During fall quarter she had seriously considered telling Joseph she didn't want to do be his TA after all, but she hadn't. She was just too reluctant to let a plum like that fall through her hand. She still had hopes (growing fainter by the day, of course) of attending graduate school, and teaching a section in an upper-division class; usually the job of graduate students, would be invaluable experience to have when applying.
She had other reasons as well. She had been eager to teach the section, to prove her intelligence matched her physical beauty. She had started to wonder if her life was becoming too much about her looks. But now that she was a month into it, she wondered if she had gotten in over her head. It had seemed easy to think of things to say when she was just one of thirty voices, and it didn't really matter if she spoke up or not. She had done well in Contemporary American Fiction, but she was forced to admit that a lot of it was due to Tim and Jessica. They had studied together, written papers together, filled each other in on what they hadn't read. Jessica let Helen read her notes, and Tim offered his, but his were written in an indecipherable scrawl that he cheerfully admitted not even he could read. They had gotten in the habit of pulling outrageous all-nighters, fueled by beer, coffee and herbal tea.
Tim seemed to delight in waiting until the last possible moment, then writing his entire paper in one burst on Helen's typewriter, even though he had a perfectly good computer and printer in his room at the Kane-King apartments. Then he would get excellents on them, which irritated Helen to no end. Nobody who wrote a paper in one burst of bullshit should be allowed to do so well on it. Once he finished his, he would type or retype hers, often rewriting it in the process. Her best paper had been based on an idea he had randomly tossed out at Golden West when they had gone there to study. His idea was about California and what it represented in China Men, Nothing At All and Crazy For Love, three novels that superficially had nothing to do with each other. Tim said California represented the end of dreams-the place where people had to confront themselves and who they really were. He had already decided what he was going to write on, so when Helen asked if she could steal his idea, he shrugged and said yes. It had ended up being the best paper she had written at UCSZ.
Although Tim procrastinated (rhymes with masturbated, Helen thought to herself with a smile) on his papers, he always did the reading.
Helen sometimes wondered why Theresa hadn’t recommended Tim to be a section leader. She thought maybe it was because Tim, though he always had something interesting to say, could be obnoxious and intolerant of ideas that he disagreed with. Most of the time he restrained himself, but every so often he would lose it and crush someone else's idea with a sarcastic remark. Theresa liked Tim, but she also had to reign him in every so often, remind him that he was just one student of thirty, not the second coming of Joseph Harkes. Tim seemed amenable to that-he was always responsive to female authority, and seemed to want and expect to be put in his place every so often.
Helen had to admit that despite her trepidation and paranoia, Joseph had behaved himself so far. In deed, at least, if not in thought. There was a gleam of hunger in his eyes that she thought she recognized. He was quite subtle about it, as he would have to be in a place where the wrong word at the wrong time could bring an outcry of sexual harassment and the end of his career, at least at UC Santa Zita. In fact, he was so subtle that even for someone with radar as finely tuned as Helen’s, it might have just been her paranoia-fueled imagination.
Helen placed her foot on the first step of the staircase that led up from the bridge into Krupke College. As she passed the Krupke Town Hall, where had she had seen Taj Mahal freshman year and she, Jessica and Tim had taken Philosophy 101 the year before, she checked her watch. She was late; but acceptably late.
Helen was always on her guard with Joseph. He had a reputation around campus as a womanizer who wasn't averse to fooling around with his own students and TAs. Before she left for Spain, Jessica had told Helen she shouldn't even consider working for a professor capable of such monstrous errors in judgment. Helen agreed with Jessica that Joseph’s conduct was inappropriate. It wasn’t just that he was so much older. Professors were part of a different world-they were teachers, and should be role models as well. Joseph had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed, just like Tim had crossed a line he shouldn’t have crossed when he went after April. It had been the summer of authority figures abusing their power. So what else was new? The world was a fucked up place. But she had never thought of Tim as someone who was going to add to that-it wasn't like him, and it made her sad to think that he had betrayed what he stood for.
During fall quarter she had seriously considered telling Joseph she didn't want to do be his TA after all, but she hadn't. She was just too reluctant to let a plum like that fall through her hand. She still had hopes (growing fainter by the day, of course) of attending graduate school, and teaching a section in an upper-division class; usually the job of graduate students, would be invaluable experience to have when applying.
She had other reasons as well. She had been eager to teach the section, to prove her intelligence matched her physical beauty. She had started to wonder if her life was becoming too much about her looks. But now that she was a month into it, she wondered if she had gotten in over her head. It had seemed easy to think of things to say when she was just one of thirty voices, and it didn't really matter if she spoke up or not. She had done well in Contemporary American Fiction, but she was forced to admit that a lot of it was due to Tim and Jessica. They had studied together, written papers together, filled each other in on what they hadn't read. Jessica let Helen read her notes, and Tim offered his, but his were written in an indecipherable scrawl that he cheerfully admitted not even he could read. They had gotten in the habit of pulling outrageous all-nighters, fueled by beer, coffee and herbal tea.
Tim seemed to delight in waiting until the last possible moment, then writing his entire paper in one burst on Helen's typewriter, even though he had a perfectly good computer and printer in his room at the Kane-King apartments. Then he would get excellents on them, which irritated Helen to no end. Nobody who wrote a paper in one burst of bullshit should be allowed to do so well on it. Once he finished his, he would type or retype hers, often rewriting it in the process. Her best paper had been based on an idea he had randomly tossed out at Golden West when they had gone there to study. His idea was about California and what it represented in China Men, Nothing At All and Crazy For Love, three novels that superficially had nothing to do with each other. Tim said California represented the end of dreams-the place where people had to confront themselves and who they really were. He had already decided what he was going to write on, so when Helen asked if she could steal his idea, he shrugged and said yes. It had ended up being the best paper she had written at UCSZ.
Although Tim procrastinated (rhymes with masturbated, Helen thought to herself with a smile) on his papers, he always did the reading.
Helen sometimes wondered why Theresa hadn’t recommended Tim to be a section leader. She thought maybe it was because Tim, though he always had something interesting to say, could be obnoxious and intolerant of ideas that he disagreed with. Most of the time he restrained himself, but every so often he would lose it and crush someone else's idea with a sarcastic remark. Theresa liked Tim, but she also had to reign him in every so often, remind him that he was just one student of thirty, not the second coming of Joseph Harkes. Tim seemed amenable to that-he was always responsive to female authority, and seemed to want and expect to be put in his place every so often.
Helen had to admit that despite her trepidation and paranoia, Joseph had behaved himself so far. In deed, at least, if not in thought. There was a gleam of hunger in his eyes that she thought she recognized. He was quite subtle about it, as he would have to be in a place where the wrong word at the wrong time could bring an outcry of sexual harassment and the end of his career, at least at UC Santa Zita. In fact, he was so subtle that even for someone with radar as finely tuned as Helen’s, it might have just been her paranoia-fueled imagination.
Helen placed her foot on the first step of the staircase that led up from the bridge into Krupke College. As she passed the Krupke Town Hall, where had she had seen Taj Mahal freshman year and she, Jessica and Tim had taken Philosophy 101 the year before, she checked her watch. She was late; but acceptably late.
Works
Recent Writing
- 1989 A Novel: Tim and April walk to the liquor store
- Volume III: Helen meets Roxy for coffee at the Fremont College coffee shop
- Volume III: Tim walks back from Contemporary American Fiction
- Volume III: Helen conducts section, can’t prevent Michael from being dissed
- Volume III: Helen conducts section (HSZ version)