Tim is woken up by strange sounds
Tim Page awoke with a start, and wondered why. A second later, he knew, as he heard a series of yowls and hisses. Two cats were fighting outside the house. Involuntarily, he tensed in his sleeping bag, heart pounding. After a moment of silence, he heard a screech, followed by the sound of scampering in the bushes. The sounds of cats fighting in the night reminded him of lying awake as a child, worrying and wishing his cats were safe inside. When he was young, he could get up and let his cats in, or try to scare away the intruder cat, but now all he could do was listen and wonder if they were okay.
Tim closed his eyes and stretched his legs as far as they would go in his sleeping bag, trying to release the tension as his heart continued to thud. He laid his hands diagonally on his chest, right over left, and breathed deeply. He became aware of a new sound coming from the wall in front of him–a moan, followed by an answering grunt. After a moment, he realized he was hearing Helen and Todd having sex. Her bedroom lay on the other side of the wall in front of him, and the walls of her house were not very thick.
His heart began racing again. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, noticing how stained and cracked it was in the corner lit by the streetlamps outside. The moans and grunts continued, not quite as loud, but now that Tim was listening closely, he heard each one. The sounds from the bedroom had lessened for the past few minutes, but now grew, as the moans echoed each other, their rhythm seeming to mock Tim's efforts to slow and steady his breathing.
As Tim listened to Helen’s breaths get louder, his heart thundered irregularly. Sharp pains rippled in his chest, as if his heart were beating so hard it was straining its limits. For a second, Tim wondered if he could possibly be having a heart attack at age twenty. His armpits moistened and he felt them with his fingers, lifted them to his nose and smelled the sweat. He cursed himself for letting himself react this way to Helen and Todd, for being weak and vulnerable. He cursed Helen not loving him the way he loved her.
The sounds were loud enough now that Tim thought Jessica and Alice would even be able to hear them from their room. He decided that if he continued being forced to imagine Helen and Todd in his mind, he would go insane. Trying to think of something, anything, to distract himself, he remembered his portable CD player.
Tim reached for the headphones and jabbed the play button. After a few seconds, keyboards swelled in his earphones, a droning like the sun rising over an ancient desert. A wailing Arabic instrument rose above the drone, drowning out Helen’s cries. Tim lay back and shut his eyes. Now that he was listening to music, his heart rate subsided and he felt his body relax and lie flat on the floor. He felt drained, like he had woken from a nightmare.
Why was he always the one who ended up sleeping on the floor? As much as Tim hated to admit it, he was no less in love with Helen now than he had been when he had started hanging out with her freshman year. He had to do something to lessen the pain of loving her. He worried that if he didn’t, he might die or have a nervous breakdown. He would give anything to never have to feel the panic and desolation he had a few minutes before.
Tim realized had to find a new girl, and let Helen do what she would. As the music built to a crescendo, he felt his resolution growing. If she wanted to waste herself on Todd, so be it. Whatever happened, he resolved that the summer of 1989 would be his time. He swore to himself that he would make it happen, that he would will a new life for himself into being.
Tim closed his eyes and stretched his legs as far as they would go in his sleeping bag, trying to release the tension as his heart continued to thud. He laid his hands diagonally on his chest, right over left, and breathed deeply. He became aware of a new sound coming from the wall in front of him–a moan, followed by an answering grunt. After a moment, he realized he was hearing Helen and Todd having sex. Her bedroom lay on the other side of the wall in front of him, and the walls of her house were not very thick.
His heart began racing again. He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, noticing how stained and cracked it was in the corner lit by the streetlamps outside. The moans and grunts continued, not quite as loud, but now that Tim was listening closely, he heard each one. The sounds from the bedroom had lessened for the past few minutes, but now grew, as the moans echoed each other, their rhythm seeming to mock Tim's efforts to slow and steady his breathing.
As Tim listened to Helen’s breaths get louder, his heart thundered irregularly. Sharp pains rippled in his chest, as if his heart were beating so hard it was straining its limits. For a second, Tim wondered if he could possibly be having a heart attack at age twenty. His armpits moistened and he felt them with his fingers, lifted them to his nose and smelled the sweat. He cursed himself for letting himself react this way to Helen and Todd, for being weak and vulnerable. He cursed Helen not loving him the way he loved her.
The sounds were loud enough now that Tim thought Jessica and Alice would even be able to hear them from their room. He decided that if he continued being forced to imagine Helen and Todd in his mind, he would go insane. Trying to think of something, anything, to distract himself, he remembered his portable CD player.
Tim reached for the headphones and jabbed the play button. After a few seconds, keyboards swelled in his earphones, a droning like the sun rising over an ancient desert. A wailing Arabic instrument rose above the drone, drowning out Helen’s cries. Tim lay back and shut his eyes. Now that he was listening to music, his heart rate subsided and he felt his body relax and lie flat on the floor. He felt drained, like he had woken from a nightmare.
Why was he always the one who ended up sleeping on the floor? As much as Tim hated to admit it, he was no less in love with Helen now than he had been when he had started hanging out with her freshman year. He had to do something to lessen the pain of loving her. He worried that if he didn’t, he might die or have a nervous breakdown. He would give anything to never have to feel the panic and desolation he had a few minutes before.
Tim realized had to find a new girl, and let Helen do what she would. As the music built to a crescendo, he felt his resolution growing. If she wanted to waste herself on Todd, so be it. Whatever happened, he resolved that the summer of 1989 would be his time. He swore to himself that he would make it happen, that he would will a new life for himself into being.
Works
Recent Writing
- 1989 A Novel: The world wakes up
- 1989 A Novel: Tim is woken up by strange sounds
- 1989 A Novel: Tim and April walk to the liquor store
- Volume III: Helen meets Roxy for coffee at the Fremont College coffee shop
- Volume III: Tim walks back from Contemporary American Fiction