Avoiding bathos
The problem with the Helen crying after running into Todd sequence is that it’s bathos, unearned emotion. We don’t know anything about their relationship, so why do we care that she’s sad?
So if Helen had a big crying scene, what could trigger it that would make sense to the reader? Maybe it’s not seeing Todd, maybe it’s her financial breakdown/debt. So that would be later. Combined with running into Todd, perhaps. But the first parts she shouldn’t be so fragile. Give the reader a chance to get to know her, to become friends with her.
So if Helen had a big crying scene, what could trigger it that would make sense to the reader? Maybe it’s not seeing Todd, maybe it’s her financial breakdown/debt. So that would be later. Combined with running into Todd, perhaps. But the first parts she shouldn’t be so fragile. Give the reader a chance to get to know her, to become friends with her.
Categories: Plot
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